Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Microsoft Tech Support Exercise In Futility

11:17 am Mike P
Great ! now we are readying for the remote access :)
11:17 am Me
Okay.
11:17 am Mike P
Please be inform that I have now complete access on your computer. Before I proceed navigating your computer, do you have a question to ask ?
11:19 am Me
Is everything okay?
11:23 am Me
...with the connection...
I tried to install my personal copy of Windows 7 in a VM.
The license wouldn't activate so I contacted Microsoft for help.

11:23 am Mike P
Yes , can I navigate your device so I can check what is causing the issue.
11:24 am Me
It's there in the middle of the screen.  
11:24 am Mike P
Thank you. Let me navigate your device.
11:25 am Me
My office workstation is already activated.
11:27 am Me
I'm trying to setup that virtual machine in the middle of the screen.
11:27 am Me
My computer is the "Host."
11:29 am Me
I don't need to change it at all.
11:29 am Me
I need help with the activation failure in the VM.
11:29 am Mike P
What is VM stands for?
11:31 am Me
Virtual Machine
11:31 am Mike P
Thank you for that.

Monday, February 16, 2015

The Conundrum of the Dry Erase Board(s)

The Conundrum of the Dry Erase Board(s)

(In order to keep the story sane, identities have been removed to protect the innocent).
     So it came to be that once upon a time, dry erase boards were investigated and requested by a committee of individuals.    The space that wished to have the glorious writing space measured 16' - 8" by 12'.   By anyone's opinion a fairly nice size meeting space, conference room table already installed, all that was needed now was some great collaboration space on the walls with which to scribble and post ideas.   One individual discussed to another, I/we will find the boards and submit a purchase request for the installation.   All agreed, standing in a circle in the wonderful space with which to collaborate.  Accounting office nodding in agree-ance, "just let me know what you find and we will get that on order".   Guidance technology folks nodding, we'll let them have it since they are obviously in the know and on the right track.    A week or so later, in passing in the hall, one of the wise and in the know members said to a measly tech individual, "I think I need your assistance locating the Dry Erase board that will meet our needs in this new wonderful space.  Tech individual looking a bit puzzled believing that there is a overly sophisticated board, latest tech, recently developed dry erase board that is better than the standard every day Dry Erase board, nods and agrees to assist with the task.   Upon further investigation, the knowing individual explains that he is just having an impossible time locating a 16' dry erase board to fit the wonderful space.   Knowing individual carries on for a few more comments and explains that not only can he not find a 16' DEB, but did the building have a large enough freight elevator to accommodate the 16' DEB?   If they will not fit in the freight elevator, there is no way the will fit in the stair well and turn the corners.  There just isn't room for that.  
     First, Tech individual perplexed and blown away by the obvious,  There was no other elevators in the building except the same 3 that everyone in the entire building use.   Additionally, had the Knowing individual not realized that there was indeed an easier solution to this deep problem?  The tech individual stops for a second and says I bet we can find two 8' boards to fit in that same space.   Knowing individual immediately shoots back, you think two 8 foot boards will fit in that 16 foot space?  Tech individual glances back at the serious and straight faced response only to reply, " I am confident that we will be able to make it work, AND they will fit in the stair well just fine if they are too large for the elevator.
   Knowing individual is once again excited and enthusiastic as the problem has been resolved.  DEB are on order and slated to be installed in the wonderful space.   Conundrum averted, mission complete.

Tech individual

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Can I get an AMEN?
Absolute GENIUS I tell you?    
Right Next to the muffler bearings,
muffler lube and the Purple and Yellow SnarfBlat.

http://gizmodo.com/5928934/is-there-anyone-stupid-enough-to-believe-that-this-cable-has-anti+virus-protection

How dumb do sales think people are?   Apparently things are not looking too promising IF this exists... Huh?
LOL
Unhappy Juice,  Ladies and Gentlmen, the IONs have LEFT the BUILDING!!!!  Please excuse them, they're not feeling well.  ;(   see pics below.


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Ghost Print

Ticket Submission:

Ticket #XXX: The printer in my office does not print...


User: I have a HP 1330 inkjet printer in my office and I recently installed a new ink cartridge,. Now when I try to print, I just get blank pages out of the machine. .If you can help me please let me know.

I teach every afternoon from 1 - 4:30pm. I have meetings most mornings, but I will meet you in my office if you let me know when you plan to come by..

Thanks.

Tech #1: Does this happen with every document you print or just one particular document?

User: Every document.

Tech #2: You're printing ok now. There's a little tab on the end of toner cartridges. You pull on it and a long strip of tape comes out, that was there to keep the toner from leaking out in shipping. Next time you get a new cartridge grab me and I'll show you how it works.
Ticket closed.

Ringling Brothers Circus PC

Ticket Submission:

Ticket #XXX: My computer tower just fell off my desk.


Hi,

My computer tower just flipped off my desk. The case is cracked but the lights are on and blinking. Will someone please come look it over for me and let me know if it is fixable?


Thanks!


 When I spoke to the user, She said She was standing across the room at a bookshelf at the time this happened.

She heard a noise, turned and saw the computer hopping across the desk and then falling to the floor on the opposite side.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Why tell stories here?  Well, given the right following, OTHER IT Admins will read them and it will cheer them up, when reflecting on their environment and users.  Perhaps you are already doing this with your peers and did not know it!
Ladies and Gents, IT's Story time!
E